Vocations are an important topic to talk about and pray about. While this is true, the idea of having a “vocation” can be a bit of an abstract thought for those who have never considered what a vocation is. What I'm getting at here is that many people, perhaps many of you who are reading this, have no idea what it means to have a vocation; what it is like to be called by God to a specific vocation. I thought I would speak today about my own vocation story and how I discerned that God was calling me to the priesthood.
Sometimes people expect a vocation story to include a booming voice coming from the heavens or some sort of mystical conversation with God that sounds like it belongs in the Bible or out of the Lives of the Saints. My first memory as young boy is of walking up in the middle of the night to find the Archangel Gabriel appearing by my bedside. He pointed at me and proclaimed, “Thus says the Lord: Joseph, son of Thomas and Judith, I have chosen you to become one of my priests. Go now to your parent's bedside, wake them from their deep sleep and tell them of this message from on high!”
This may sound like a fascinating tale right there, but it is only a “tall” one I'm afraid. However, I do think there are a lot of Christians in the world today who think that the only way that God communicates with people is through a booming voice or a heavenly messenger like in my little story. Since, most likely, they have not had such an encounter, they come to the conclusion (a false one) that God must not be talking to them and must not have a vocation for them. That is not the truth. God speaks to us in many ways. Here is how God spoke to me.
I didn't always think that I was going to be a priest. I remember thinking of priesthood as a boy in elementary school, but I didn't really think about it all that seriously and I would soon move on to other thoughts of what I wanted to be when I grew up. My mother was quite involved with music at my home parish and would have me in tow around the church as she got music ready for Sunday. Thanks to that, I would get to know the parish priests early on and I was able to see them as normal human beings who I felt very comfortable around.
As I grew up, I helped out with altar serving and being involved as a volunteer at the Church. When I was in junior high school, I was invited to attend a vocation camp the diocese was putting on in the summer. I found out several years later that a elderly parishioner had sent in my name, thinking I would make a good priest some day. That was probably how I was invited. I attended the camp for a couple of years. In the summer after eighth grade, I remember praying in the camp chapel after Mass one day. I had heard several priests and seminarians talk about how they felt called to the priesthood and their experiences of priesthood. We could also hang out, a play games and get to know them. The idea of being called to something by God was exciting to me, and I wanted to know what God was calling me to right away. I prayed to God, “Let me know what you want me to do, Lord. Let me know if you want me to be a priest or to be married. Please let me know”. As I prayed, I began having this feeling of peace; a feeling I often describe to people as feeling like I'm at home. I thought about how I often had this same feeling of peace whenever I was helping at Church, whether I was serving, or helping with music or other tasks at Church. I believed that God was telling me that He wanted me to serve in the Church. I couldn't think of a better way to do that than in the priesthood.
I got up and ran outside to find the vocation director. “Father, Father! I think I'm called to be a priest!” He had to remind me that I was still in middle school and had time before I had to make a decision. I kept praying about it in the years to come. I still thought about marriage and other occupations occasionally, but priesthood still remained in the back of my mind.
My senior year, I finally went to an open house at a seminary in St. Paul. I was nervous because I thought joining a seminary meant throwing away who I was and would no longer be able to have fun. But I discovered that the seminary is a place where the men were normal human beings. I could still be myself. I would be around others, considering doing the same thing I was. I was hooked. I signed up and began my studies the next year.
I would be lying if I said it was smooth sailing after that. It took a lot of work and a lot of prayers. I had times of doubt of whether I was even in the right place. But despite the doubts and stress I had at times, God continued to speak to me in different ways (in prayer; in the people I would meet) letting me know I was on the right track. Now as a priest, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Knowing our vocation and responding to it is not about being 100% sure of what we are doing. It's about being aware of how God is moving in your life and taking that chance. God does not normally speak in booming voices, but more often in small voices that resonate in the heart. We do not always know what we are doing, but we try to respond the best we can.
An important part of living out a vocation, is sacrifice. We all sacrifice in a vocation: whether it is sacrificing for your spouse or children in marriage, or sacrificing for the Church in a religious vocation. The readings today talk about being called and responding to vocations: Isaiah responds to his vocation as a prophet, called from his mother's womb. St. Paul responds to being called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus, and passes on his knowledge to the people of Corinth. The Gospel mentions both St. John the Baptist who was called to be a prophet and the Messiah's forerunner, and Jesus Himself who was called to be none other than the Lamb of God. Each of them responds to these vocations wholeheartedly and does so with sacrifice. Particularly, Jesus sacrifices His entire self for us all as the Lamb of God who died for us.
Let us pray, this day and every day, for the grace to recognize and respond to the vocation God calls us to. We are not all called to literally die as Jesus did, but we are called to die to self as a personal sacrifice. May our sacrifices be pleasing in His sight.
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